Searching for Self – in Pursuit of Inner Peace

About the Book: This book explores our ideas of self, repeatedly revealing “who we are not” to gently bring us into peace without attempting to alter our external conditions. It is well known that when we dissociate ourselves from all our worldly identities, we will naturally come to peace. This book lays out a clear roadmap to achieve enduring peace through detachment.
But detachment does not mean renouncement of all types of pleasures and living a life of inactivity and boredom. In truth, detachment can relieve us of all the burdens and baggage we carry, leaving us free to enjoy all the genuine pleasures available on earth to the fullest. The only condition is that we must not cling to the pleasures but be ready to let them go freely. Hence our life here can be one of unending joy and achievement.

About the Author: To be a most unremarkable human being and write a book such as this one is a major challenge. Having observed myself, the people around me and the human society worldwide, I am fully convinced that this book is what is immediately needed to restore peace and sanity among us. This strong conviction made me face all the trials and tribulations with a brave face and to complete this task despite the odds. I would like to begin this work with a brief sketch of myself to give the reader a small idea about how all this came to be. My life has never had any storm larger than a serious interpersonal conflict, a rare death, or a sudden job loss. None of the storms I faced have so far had much of a lasting impact on my livelihood or relationships. Despite such smooth sailing I was able to discover some profound and simple truths that form the solid basis of this book. That I achieved this though not being devoted to a specific religion or spiritual guru is strange even to me. I just searched and unlike many seekers I found. Probably because I never went after the ultimate truth but always settled for the immediate next level from where I stood. This simple habit enabled me to go digging deeper and to reach a point where I wanted to share my discoveries. The quest has not ended but what I sought is with me. I know very well that I will lose it. But it does not deter me because I know it can be found again ad infinitum. The enlightened Gurus and the highly revered religious leaders have always been and are even now trying to reveal the same truth to the entire human race. But unlike them, I am unconstrained by the shackles of religion or a school of thought. I am a free bird who can borrow from any religion or philosophy to bring home my point. At the same time, I am free of irrational ideas and dogma that trouble us when we align ourselves with a rigid perspective. This also enables me to bring out the subtle nuances involved in this work without a care for approval from any authority. My early life was spent in a conflicted extended family where I could never fully grasp all that was happening. This set me up for a lifetime of anxiety that remains hidden deep inside me to this day. This was magnified by a food allergy that made me the brunt of ridicule and bullying in school and college. In hindsight, my childhood and youth appear to be a non-stop parade of confusion and missed opportunities. But I could somehow develop sufficient language and survival skills to grab a coveted job in a large bank in India that set me up for a lifetime of assured income. Making just enough effort to marry and have a family enabled me to spend a decade in relative calm and simplicity of a happy life. The boredom of a predictable life led me to invent my own midlife crisis by walking out of the comfortable bank job to try my hand at entrepreneurship without the required planning or groundwork. Thus, I ensured that I would never succeed on my own. This was followed by fruitless attempts at reemployment in the private sector. The repeated failures and job losses I faced suggested that there was something wrong with me rather than my family, employers, or others. As all middle aged and old men do, I also began studying philosophy and going to Hindu temples to discover a better way to success. My inner journey began at this point a decade back when I discovered Michael Brown’s “The Presence Process” (http://www.thepresenceprocessportal.com/). Unlike Michael’s life of pain and torment, mine was filled with ease and comfort. Still I was able to work with my emotions to come face to face with my hidden fears and anxieties. I became aware of my heightened sensitivity which no one else around me seems to possess. I remembered that I was extremely sensitive even in my childhood. I could not only feel the pain of my fellow humans but also that of animals like dogs and cows, frogs, insects, and worms. Hence before I indulged in hurtful actions, I had to de-sensitize myself with great effort. This capacity to feel, combined with my well-developed conscience created a unique pathway for me to follow. This, I realized, was one reason I never faced major storms in my life though luck of the draw too mattered a lot. My choice of the virtuous path with care not to hurt others ensured that I never made any powerful enemies in my life. But it also ensured that my life would be wholly unremarkable as I never faced any pressure to attempt anything great. My family became an oasis of peace in our agitated community and I became a Buddha in my own family.
Lack of storms does not guarantee a life of peace. The regular relationship conflicts, blame games, and irresponsible actions continued. But none of these caused permanent effects. I also began to realize that we could never take entire credit for avoiding storms. Storms can only be delayed but never completely avoided. I knew social, economic, and other turmoil like natural disasters and climate change were all around the corner and it would require diligent and relentless inner work to face them responsibly. I also realized that even if I could bravely face the challenges, my family, my society, and the world at large may be badly hurt and even destroyed by the storms. This anxiety prompted me to try to get my family ready for the ordeals to come. But as I believed in modelling behavior rather than delivering lecture, I noticed that even my family members seemed to be focused on the shiny objects out there while losing sight of the dangers ahead. A deeper contemplation on this idea convinced me that I would never be able to save my family or my society in isolation. If I had to save anyone, I had to save everyone. This book arose from the thought that even the most common person can do serious work to save the world. This book is full of common-sense ideas for getting out of the deep rut we have dug ourselves into. The hard work we need to do is not physical or mental. It is merely accepting and acknowledging the consequences of every action in each moment. Just as all of us seek comfort and ease in every moment, we need to sensitize ourselves to the consequences of our every act.
This book reveals the deep connections between our actions and our suffering. This blueprint will serve to open our eyes to self-destructive actions which we can simply stop doing. Thus, we are initiated into a journey of self-awareness that begins to deepen with practice. As more and more humans become self-aware and realize the destruction they are unleashing on other humans, living things and the environment, they would be sensitized to the pain and suffering all around them. Now the choice is ours. This book gives you, dear reader, the power to save the world. It is your choice to do as you please. Please follow me at https://www.bookbub.com/authors/k-r-v-hari