Asking for It

Not to get. Not to get that word

It’s not your fault, the therapist tells me, but she is wrong

We could sit here, listen to those strangers tell us where it is we went wrong

I don’t have a story

They say that I was

they’re practically asking to be attacked

I wish another girl had been the one to start the national conversation.

(I have ruined their lives.)

Guilt paints itself on to my skin.

I can never be with him now. I belong to those other boys, as surely as if they have stamped me with a cattle brand. They have seared their names into my heart.

People always asked me what perfume I used. I would refuse to tell them. I wanted to be unique, to stand out. I wanted to be different.
Now all I want is to fade away.