How to Stay Out of the Doghouse

She is not Apollo 13.
You are not Houston.

She doesn’t want you to solve all her problems and bring her back to Earth. All she wants is for you to listen—without telling her what to do. If you can’t handle that, you may wind up crashing in the ocean.

Deleted text messages are as bad as incriminating texts. If you wouldn’t want her to read it, don’t send it in the first place—’cause she will, every time. And mobile reception in the doghouse is terrible

Learn from Nixon: The cover-up is always worse than the crime.

Unless you plan on carrying it for nine months, let her pick the name.

Convinced you’ve found that nonconformist rare bird who doesn’t care about cut, carat, and clarity? Be careful: This is a mirage.

Three mythical beasts: Bigfoot, Yeti, and the Woman Who Doesn’t Want a Dazzling Ring.

You may be the breadwinner, or just the one who gets paid more—but trust us, play that card and you’ll regret it every time. She may be a stay-at-home mom, but if you act like you don’t consider that work, you’ll end up a stay-in-the-doghouse dad.

There’s only one safe reason to tell your wife to pass on dessert.
Diabetes.

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