The Stranger

I felt as I hadn’t felt for ages. I had a foolish desire to burst into tears. For the first time I’d realized how all these people loathed me.

Since we’re all going to die, it’s obvious that when and how don’t matter.

I drank the coffee, and then I wanted a cigarette. But I wasn’t sure if I should smoke, under the circumstances—in Mother’s presence. I thought it over; really, it didn’t seem to matter, so I offered the keeper a cigarette, and we both smoked.

Still, I had an idea he looked annoyed, and I said, without thinking: “Sorry, sir, but it’s not my fault, you know.”

I agreed it wasn’t a bad plan; it would punish her, all right.

Every time there’s a death here, they’re in a nervous state for two or three days

It was such a new experience, being a focus of interest; in the ordinary way no one ever paid much attention to me.

Never in my life had I seen anyone so clearly as I saw these people;

not a detail of their clothes or features escaped me. And yet I couldn’t hear them, and it was hard to believe they really existed.

What difference could they make to me, the deaths of others, or a mother’s love, or his God; or the way a man decides to live, the fate he thinks he chooses, since one and the same fate was bound to
“choose” not only me but thousands of millions of privileged people who, like him, called themselves my brothers. Surely, surely he must see that?

For the first time I’d realized how all these people loathed me.