You Can Be Happy No Matter What

When you do have differences to work out, you do so calmly, from a place of wisdom. When you don’t feel warmly toward another, you are reacting directly from your habitual thought system, continuall

Happiness must come first. Anything that develops out of this happiness is wonderful, but fulfilled desire alone does not create happiness.

Happiness allows you to see information in new and creative ways and to make rational, productive decisions in a timely manner; it allows you to enjoy, rather than struggle with, the ebbs and flows of life, and it encourages your wisdom and common sense to surface.

The barriers or obstructions that keep us from experiencing these positive feelings are learned negative processes that we have innocently come to accept as “necessary,” or as “just the way life is.” When we uncover these inherent positive feelings and remove the obstructions keeping us from them, the result is a more meaningful and beautiful experience of life.

These positive feelings are not fleeting emotions that come and go with changing circumstances, but permeate our lives and become part of us. Finding this state of mind allows us to be more lighthearted and easygoing, whether or not our circumstances seem to warrant this positive outlook. In this nicer state, life seems less complicated and our problems are lessened. The reason: When we feel better, we have more access to our own wisdom and common sense. We tend to be less reactive, defensive, and critical; we make better decisions and we communicate more effectively.

Happiness cannot occur when we place its source outside of ourselves. Once we assume that certain conditions must be met before we can feel happy, we are too late to experience it. Most of us do experience fleeting moments of happiness, but let them pass us by without due notice.

If you are thinking at all, it’s only on the task at hand, not on the outcome or on self-evaluation. It’s not that you shouldn’t think; in fact, in this nicer feeling state, you have complete access to your best thinking, your wisdom and common sense

if we’re not happy, we can’t contribute to the happiness of others.

HAPPINESS IS A STATE OF MIND, not a set of circumstances. It is a serene feeling you can always experience and live in, not something you have to search very far for. In fact, you can never find happiness by “searching,” because the moment you do, you imply that it is found outside yourself. Happiness isn’t outside yourself. It is a feeling — the natural feeling of your innate healthy psychological functioning.

Any relationship begins with us. When we can tap into a more positive feeling state ourselves, we open the door for mutual respect, open and honest communication, and a genuine sense of love. When our own lives are full of contentment, we have some left over for other people. When we feel good ourselves, there is no need to be overly critical or defensive, because we no longer feel threatened by others.

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.