Lundy Bancroft

they have habits of mind that make it difficult for them to imagine being in a respectful and equal relationship with a woman

An angry and controlling man can be like a vacuum cleaner that sucks up a woman’s mind and life

The abuser creates confusion because he has to. He can’t control and intimidate you, he can’t recruit people around him to take his side, he can’t keep escaping the consequences of his actions, unless he can throw everyone off the track. When the world catches on to the abuser, his power begins to melt away. So we are going to travel behind the abuser’s mask to the heart of his problem. This journey is critical to the health and healing of abused women and their children, for once you grasp how your partner’s mind works, you can begin reclaiming control of your own life.