Eva Spencer

When someone is blaming someone else, it is possible that they will use gaslighting or projection as forms of emotional manipulation and control. For example, narcissists may state something to the effect of “You’re the one who cheated first,” even if they were the only one who had been dishonest in the relationship up until that point.

When the victim finally leaves, the narcissist will refuse to be held accountable for anything they’ve done or said in the past. They will blame their victim for the troubles in the relationship. It is necessary for the victim to let go of the goal of making the narcissist understand themselves in order to terminate the relationship successfully.

What a narcissist does when a relationship ends may leave the victimized party feeling puzzled, upset, and even afraid of what they have done to you or will do next. People who have survived narcissistic relationships often described feeling “shell-shocked.” Everything they believed about human nature and relationships has been turned on its head. Their preconceptions about the other party’s devotion or honesty are completely without foundation. Their hopes for human connection may be destroyed in the face of narcissistic conduct, and they may feel hopeless.

If the narcissist wants to achieve this goal, he or she must persuade their victim that the damaging actions that they are engaging in are merely natural aspects of their personality. As the relationship between the abuser and the victim develops stronger, the victim’s need for validation increases, giving the abuser additional leverage and the capacity to exert greater control over the victim.

Create a support system that consists of a group of trusted experts, friends, and family members who can assist you in your recovery from the trauma bonding. It is critical to concentrate on developing good relationships with others while recovering from domestic violence.

Narcissists also like to cut a story short and only share the part of an incident where the injured party reacted to their toxic behavior, framing the story as if that was the beginning. Alternatively, they may distort the truth by employing euphemisms and deceptive words (I’m not controlling, I just want what’s best for you.).

To obtain what they desire, narcissistic abusers take pleasure in creating dread and anxiety in others.

While there are many ways in which a narcissist might use their falsehoods and projections, the ultimate goal is always to turn others against the victim in the hopes that others will not try to figure out the truth for themselves.

The narcissist may simply leave out what happened before the victim stood up for themselves to frame the situation as the victim being mean to them, even though the victim’s defensiveness was a normal reaction to the narcissist’s toxic behavior.

Narcissists refuse to entertain the possibility that they may not be perfect in every way.