Peter Bregman

1. Slow down. As I found on my stationary bike, it’s almost impossible to backpedal hard enough to reverse direction on the spot. It helps to see it as a process. First, just stop pedaling so hard. Then, as the momentum starts to lose its force, gently begin to change direction.

So next time you look at an employee, ask yourself: What’s changed? Instead of focusing on what she’s doing wrong, try looking for something new she does right that you never noticed before. Same thing for any relationship you’re in.

Instead of looking for how things are the same, we can look for how they are different. Instead of seeking evidence to confirm our perspectives, we can seek to shake them up. Instead of wanting to be right, we can want to be wrong.

Most important, be consistent—doing the same thing repeatedly over time solidifies your identity.

Be open to your extraordinary potential

So often we scramble to get a lot accomplished in a day, and succeed—only to realize, in retrospect, that those things we accomplished won’t get us where we want to go. It’s not a lack of effort. It’s a lack of direction and focus.

In order to reclaim your life, first you need to focus on what your life is all about.

First, ask yourself what’s working: What about your daily work, your daily life, matters to you? Why are you doing it? What part of your life is a source of pride? What impact do you feel you’re having on people, ideas, or things that are important to you?