Tom Brown

4. This Moment is a Perfect Lesson

Rather than consider the ‘uncomfortable’ feelings like bad news, you should understand that, in fact, they are the best basis for development. They appear as unexpected messengers, revealing things, retaining us and not letting us go, with clarity. This moment is the best teacher, and, fortunately, it remains with us all the time, wherever we are.
Every moment is a gift. We cannot change the things that already exist, but we can appreciate and study the value of this precious moment.
5. Nothing is Eternal. Even Your Problems
IN PHYSICS, THE SECOND law of thermodynamics states that in the universe, the degree of disorder is steadily growing. Nothing is permanent; everything is in a continually changing flow. This creates the freedom for us, because everything is changing, and nothing lasts forever. Even the problems. They appear and disappear after some time. Then the questions arise again and are solved yet.

THIS IS NORMAL FOR life. That’s why we always have an opportunity of development as far as something new occurs, no matter it is positive or negative.
6. Both Pain and Pleasure Are Feelings
WHEN WE REVIEW OUR experience without censure and perceive our emotional pain just as a sense, we see the problem in a new way.
7. Inner Turmoil and Complaints Create a Vicious Circle
DON’T WORRY THAT YOU are worried. Our minds are reactive: by judging and comparing, they create sympathies and antipathies. While we stick to these convictions and preferences, our thoughts, being immersed into the exhausting whirlpool of reactivity, are in full disarray. Will you change the situation with your complaints? Or you will follow the vicious circle?

IT WILL BE MORE REASONABLE to understand that we cannot change the things that have already happened, and there is no point in worrying about the things which might have happened, but didn’t. We can live with our present only. Leave your thoughts alone, and they will calm down by themselves. First, let the situation go, let it be as it is, and act afterward. This is the somewhat active (not passive) approach.
8. To Be Able to Appreciate Good Moments of Life, We Need the Negative Experience
IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT the noise is, how can you enjoy the silence? If you have never experienced rapid changes in temperature, how are you going to realize that a hot day is a hot day for real? Our experience is relative, and we cannot experience the joy intuitively without knowing any pain. Our temporary difficulties are gifts that allow us to deeply and fully appreciate the happy moments of life more.
9. Other People’s Negative Mood is Not Your Problem
IF YOU HAVE A STRONG sense of empathy and intuition, perhaps, you feel obliged to help the others to solve their problems. However, it exhausts your power, and your friends can consider that you a private physician is available by phone at any hour, even at night

Caprices keep heaping up

PSYCHOLOGISTS PROVED that such qualities as a strong will, ability to withstand the life storms. Respect for yourself and the others, kindness, self-discipline, self-confidence, ability to refuse from caprices, and a stable life position make a person attractive and good-looking in the other people's eyes. To become beautiful, you only need to learn to respect yourself. And respect and love are Siamese twins unable to exist without each other.
If you love yourself, demerits disappear by themselves!

f you dislike yourself, you're in the condition of constant stress. This makes the worst habits manifesting themselves, like overeating, smoking, alcoholism, gambling, or promiscuity. This makes your personality and your body unattractive either for you or the other people.

eparate yourself from your bad habits and forgive your weaknesses, love yourself as you are. If you like yourself, you are calm and steady. Then, the need to snack or smoke after the stress disappears because the fear itself is gone. You don't need to fence yourself off the outside world with a fat layer, and you don't need to change partners to prove to yourself that you are important; you don't have to sink deep into the gambling world to forget how unjust the real world is. Moreover, if there is no stress, it is so hard to express some patience and quit smoking or overeating?

person can learn to love, accept, and understand the others only after learning to love, understand, and allow himself as he is."

word "love" gets the new synonyms. Such as "to give," "to do for," "to take care." But not "to need," "to wait," "to suffer,"...

The basis of love for yourself is the ability to take care of yourself and satisfy your real needs.

Only a mature person who can take care of oneself can give his love to others.

love for yourself means attention to self-development: intellectual, spiritual, psychological, and professional.